It's Actually Not Me, It's You

This is what did it. Look closely.

I was struck immediately. Was I seeing this correctly? Had the church I so loved actually posted this?! My disconnected and confused surprise was acute.

Let's at first break down the image itself. Based on Proverbs 5, the graphic shows very clearly a man at the end of a road, with very clearly a woman's figure at the end of that road - flowers drawn at her feet, and "death" written to her left side. The background is a harsh, garish red.

I want us to be drawn to the simple, but utterly clear messaging here. Woman is portrayed - no - labeled as death. I'm sorry, what?

This is what at first I could not wrap my mind around. Was I somehow interpreting this wrong? Was it harmless? After all, my church had posted it, and I know the intentions of the people there are only for good and love. What the actual fuck was going on here?

Now I'm going to crack open my bible here for a minute. Let's just hear Proverbs 5 straight from the source.

'For the lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil. But in the end she is as bitter as poison, as dangerous as a double-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave. For she cares nothing about the path to life. She staggers down a crooked trail and doesn't realize it.' Proverbs 5: 3-6

'Stay away from her! Don't go near the door of her house! If you do, you will lose your honor and will lose to merciless people all you have achieved.' Proverbs 5: 8-9

Egads! Those wily, seductive women! Stay away, you men of flowerful integrity! Lest your brainless penis' lead you into her desperate clutches.

Now, to be fair, the artist nailed the literal interpretation, but also, the literal interpretation of this passage could not be more offensive.

And even if, as many in the church might argue, this is a metaphor for the woman to be seen as temptation at large. Again, offensive.

But even if for the sake of argument this is metaphorical, it only points further to the fallacy that comes with basing one's life solely off ancient texts written by men, inspired by a (male) gendered God.

The Bible can be made to say anything that a person in power - or positioning for power - wants it to say. On one hand, it can easily be read to say that women are property. But it also documents manipulative and evil women - strategic and wise women - docile and obedient women. Passages can be twisted to justify on any grounds. And that is why it is undoubtedly an incredible book - a masterful book of loving manipulation.

And as long as followers base their lives, worldview, and justifications on the Bible as the innerant Word of God, it will always be a living book - because humans give it life and meaning.

But please, do not use it to justify insensitivity in the name of truth. For there are fallacies in any truth we might profess. That is the nature of interpretation. But have the integrity to admit to whatever inevitable weakness or blindspot that truth may manifest.

But I know this will never happen.

Christians in general (not all, by any means), are largely unwilling to make such admittances about God and the Bible - for that might begin to unravel their safe, known worldview. And without it, they fear what might - or might not be - left without the security and love of God as they know it. And again, I know this, because I was there - afraid of what I didn't know and couldn't doubt.

But for fuck's sake. #metoo, anyone? How could an organization so centered on loving people be so insensitive, especially given the current climate?!

And truly, maybe they don't care. To them, God's truth is higher than any amount of social awareness to better the situation of women.

I just don't understand it. But maybe that's the point. 

I've spent many moments this last year trying to reconcile my harried experiences with my church; feeling certain that I would one day soon rejoin them - telling myself that I was just taking a break to figure things out. But what I didn't realize till now is that I've actually outgrown them.

C3 Brooklyn was a godsend for me when I moved to New York City. In fact, they were one of the main reasons I did move. But as there is a season with everything, my life is growing in an entirely different and positive direction. And this post only confirmed that our directions are worlds apart.

I will not and cannot claim to subscribe to or align myself with an organization creating, producing, and circulating a graphic so clearly portraying women as death.

This was the sign I needed to know that these were no longer my people (organizationally) or my tribe.

I'll always carry fond memories, especially of the Villian days, but shit, C3 - what has happened to you? This is not how I remember you.

But maybe - it's in fact how you've always been. It's just me who has changed.

Because now I'm the person who will stand with #metoo - not Proverbs 5.